Title: Masterminds and Wingmen Pdf Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World
Author: Rosalind Wiseman
Published Date: 2014-07-29
Page: 377
“Rosalind Wiseman, who so insightfully explained the world of girls in Queen Bees and Wannabes, has done it again . . . This is an essential guide – not just for parents but anyone who wants to better understand their own childhood and its impact.” --Anderson Cooper “Rosalind Wiseman offers readers deep, nuanced, up-to-the-minute insight into today's boy. She explains how and why boys, in so many areas, make it easy for parents and educators to miss out on their suffering and their strength. Most important, she shows how to reach out and lift boys up without getting on their nerves.” --Wendy Mogel, PhD, author of the New York Times bestseller The Blessing of a Skinned Knee "Rosalind Wiseman, the well-known ‘girl expert,’ has a real feel for the inner life of boys, and for the way they interact with their parents. Her new book, Masterminds and Wingmen, contains some of the best advice for communicating with boys that I’ve ever read: wise, clear and tough. The brilliant chapter on why boys lies to their parents is alone worth the price of the book.” --Michael Thompson, coauthor of the New York Times bestseller Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys“Trying to communicate with boys, teenage boys especially-- can sometimes feel like cracking the world’s most complicated secret code. What makes Masterminds and Wingmen so remarkable is how thoroughly it decrypts boy-world language. It allows us to really connect with boys. If you want to understand what’s in your son’s head, read this book!” --Michael Gurian, New York Times bestselling author of The Wonder of Boys “Rosalind Wiseman is perhaps America's foremost guide through the complex social hierarchies and cruel logics that govern adolescents' lives . . . With clear analysis and down-to-earth practical advice, this book will guide many many conversations between parents and their sons.” --Michael Kimmel, author of Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men "Rosalind Wiseman brings a distinctive perspective and voice to whatever issue she takes up . . . I found the book insightful and useful, as both a father to sons and as a professional working with violent youth who must deal with the most serious life issues facing other people's sons." --James Garbarino, PhD, author of Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them “Don't even try parenting, teaching or coaching a boy without reading Wiseman's book -- a field manual that you’ll absolutely need if you wish to enter the strange and wondrous world of guys.” --Richard Whitmire, author of Why Boys Fail “The world bombards boys with confusing and destructive messages– the net result is the creation of characters instead of young men with character. Masterminds and Wingmen will help parents, teachers, and coaches understand young boys and make a difference in their lives. An intriguing read.” --Dr. Kevin Leman, author of Have a New Kid by FridayRosalind Wiseman is a teacher, thought leader and bestselling author of Queen Bees & Wannabees (the book that inspired the movie and musical Mean Girls) and Masterminds & Wingmen, as well as the curriculum Owning Up: Empowering Adolescents to Confront Social Cruelty, Bullying, and Injustice. She is the founder of Cultures of Dignity and lives in Colorado with her husband and two children. Follow her on Twitter at @culturesodignity or on Facebook at culturesofdignity.
Do you constantly struggle to pull information from your son, student, or athlete, only to encounter mumbling or evasive assurances such as “It’s nothing” or “I’m good?” Do you sense that the boy you care about is being bullied, but that he’ll do anything to avoid your “help?” Have you repeatedly reminded him that schoolwork and chores come before video games only to spy him reaching for the controller as soon as you leave the room? Have you watched with frustration as your boy flounders with girls?
Welcome to Boy World. It’s a place where asking for help or showing emotional pain often feels impossible. Where sports and video games can mean everything, but working hard in school frequently earns ridicule from “the guys” even as they ask to copy assignments. Where “masterminds” dominate and friends ruthlessly insult each other but can never object when someone steps over the line. Where hiding problems from adults is the ironclad rule because their involvement only makes situations worse. Boy world is governed by social hierarchies and a powerful set of unwritten rules that have huge implications for your boy’s relationships, his interactions with you, and the man he’ll become. If you want what’s best for him, you need to know what these rules are and how to work with them effectively.
What you’ll find in Masterminds and Wingmen is critically important for every parent – or anyone who cares about boys – to know. Collaborating with a large team of middle- and high-school-age editors, Rosalind Wiseman has created an unprecedented guide to the life your boy is actually experiencing – his on-the-ground reality. Not only does Wiseman challenge you to examine your assumptions, she offers innovative coping strategies aimed at helping your boy develop a positive, authentic, and strong sense of self.
Parents will navigate the inevitable tests their sons will face I read the book because my preteen was telling me very little about his social life. He began creating excuses not to go to school, all the time. He was crying and begging me not to go. I would ask him why or ask him to tell me what was going on... he's such a private, bottled up, quiet boy, however, he shows his emotions through boxing, throwing darts, being destructive, yelling, gaming.... come to find out; he is being bullied, (and has been, for a few months now. My son told me that anything he tried to do to avoid conflict, it wouldn't help) and he's not the only one in his class that is getting bullied, all by the same child. Immediately, I called my son's father, we are divorced, and told him I was calling a meeting with the principle and or vice principal and our son would not be returning to school until a plan for the bully was in place!A very resourceful book!!Written with sensitivity to the issues that young men are facing today and ways that we can help them to become more confident, well rounded, and find their inner strength.I took so many mental notes, plus handwritten reminders for myself, for the upcoming conversations I will soon have with my son. I also wrote the I PROMISE/ HE PROMISES contract out for both my son and I; to discuss and sign.A MUST READ! (plus parent discussion group?) I cant say enough about this book. If you have a loved one (child, grandchild, nephew) who is a teen/preteen boy, you absolutely MUST read this. If you are a youth pastor or teacher or scout leader of a teen boy, you absolutely MUST read this. I heard about it from a friend, who heard about it through her son's school (in colorado). the school is doing a series of book club/ discussion groups on this book for parents of boys about to enter middle school. I would love to start a similar parent's discussion group at my son's school! If you think preteen and teen "girls are hard" and that "boys are easy" , it is only because we don't know what is going on inside a boy, but their teen years are JUST AS tumultuous as girls. The author points out that she isn't writing this so that you can confront your boy and make him talk about everything in the book; rather, her intent is that you gain an understanding and awareness of your son's world to better support him. Just read it!!! You won't be sorry.
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